I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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