I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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