ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
