hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Randomize