i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
he fucked my hip out of place.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
