note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
zippers are such a cool invention
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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