so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
