you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Randomize
