it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize