my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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