Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
