dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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