i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
