apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
