**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
