I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
