Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
