I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
