Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
