Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
