please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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