Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
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