My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
