I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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