dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
