things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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