Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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