Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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