We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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