yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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