Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
