This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
