Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
