with your own penis?
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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