what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
