I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
