So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
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