We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
