We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
