By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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