jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
we made out on top of his cat.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize