I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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