apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
