he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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