don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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