She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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