yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
