dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
