so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
