wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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