it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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