Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
organizing the empties. That sober.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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