i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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