Just fell off a train. Bad.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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