Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
