Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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