I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
