a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Randomize
