That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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