my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
barbara walters just said penis...
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
