In America we eat man semen.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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