Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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