am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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