you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
